After the Trainer: Story 1: Less Pay? Move Away!
by SonicKitsune
Summary: The first in a series. Azumarill decides the pay of the team's missions is getting light, so she decides to head to another city along with the rest of the team. And what's with the Mareep who can't drive? And who's behind the mind control bug?
1. Desperate Profits Demand Divided Actions

This is a series I'm writing based on the general Pokémon franchise, but inspired by certain titles such as the upcoming DS ones and the Mystery Dungeon titles. The basis is of a group of Pokémon who have been released after their trainer retired just doing various things. Try to enjoy!

Disclaimer: Pokémon is not owned by me. Neither is McDonald's, Baby Got Back, that Milkshake song, that Shot to the Heart song, or Sugar by System of a Down, even though I have that CD. The Metroid franchise is owned by Nintendo, along with the Nintendo DS and Nintendogs. I made up Siren Town but not really so much the Open Mission Format.

And, yes, the Zigzagoon mentioned is the "shiny" coloration.

Is there anything else?

Oh, yeah, if a name sounds bad, blame me and my not good ability of making up names.

Uh, try to enjoy!

And if words are bunched together or punctuation is missing, blame the computer and the slow connection, because I use a spell-checking word processor.

* * *

"Go get that Zangoose!" the Typhlosion ordered. 

It was in the event of a battle between a Zangoose clan and the team. The clan had attacked Azumarill in an ambush and the 66th Expedition wouldn't just take it. Typhlosion was the leader of this particular group. It was a matter of seconds separating Azumarill from life or death. A group of Zangoose was closing in.

Normally, Pokémon weren't as hostile as this, even when territorially challenged. Something was up. Typhlosion had spotted something on the lead and was too busy holding the group from Azumarill, so Scizor reacted to it. He used Steel Claw to knock it out, causing the object resembling a bug to fly off. The other Zangoose scattered.

"Get up, Azumarill," Minun said. Minun, along with Plusle, were also part of the team. However, Zigzagoon was off along with her.

Just then, the missing two returned. "Plusle was just out trying to find our supplies," the red-coated Zigzagoon explained. The team had lost their supplies mysteriously while passing this village and immediately, the two set off. Normally, in an event like this, there would be even Red and Blue teams, sorted by the coloring of the Pokémon. But in this case, the ambush happened as soon as the team realized this and Scizor decided to stay to fight.

Zigzagoon picked up the bug object. "Was this what made them so ticked off?"

"Maybe," Azumarill replied. "I remember seeing something on the leader as he attacked."

"Let's head back to town to recover," Typhlosion suggested.

The 66th Expedition was sort of a group of bounty hunters, and on their off time, which was whenever they felt like, were explorers. They would take missions stated in the town hall duty list and try to finish them for the best reward. The way these worked was that several teams could sign on at once, but who completed the case and reported it first got the reward. This was a way to encourage volunteer security.

Having found the source of the insane Zangoose, the team was headed to the town hall to claim the prize of 5,500 PokéDollars. Of course, the reward was split equally, depending on the participation of each member. So, seeing that each member did a good job, the first 5,000 was split equally, each getting 833 PokéDollars, with Azumarill getting the remaining 502 for compensation.

"We, the citizens and leaders of Siren Town, well, you're heard this speech about 150 times, so, thank you," the Delibird mayor announced. "Even I'm getting sick of this," he added quietly.

"Me, too," added Minun quietly.

"I'm jealous of Azumarill getting practically twice of what we got, Typhlosion," Plusle complained.

"Well," Typhlosion replied, "it's the least of what we can do to cover her medical bill."

"But, isn't the Pokémon Center free?"

"Still, it's nice. Don't get greedy or you'll be evicted."

"Who's saying?"

"Uh, I'm the leader!"

"Sure… That's why…" Plusle grinned as much as her little face could handle, then some.

"I just saw him blush!" Zigzagoon exclaimed.

"You think she's _so cute_, don't you?"

"Well, uh, naturally, most people think, uh, that an Azumarill is… cute," Typhlosion replied hesitantly.

"HA!" Plusle shouted.

Distantly, a Noctowl screamed, "Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!"

"It's daytime, moron!"

"I'm awake at night!"

"Yeah, well, uh…"

Minun finished by saying, "Your mom's a guy!"

No one spoke. Then Plusle continued with her original sentence, "I had my MP3 player recording right then!" She pressed a button. Baby Got Back started playing. "Oops, wrong one." Then, the Shot to the Heart song started playing. "Sorry." Just then, Minun was picked up by a Noctowl in flight. Afterwards, the Milkshake song started playing. "Wrong again."

"You listen to that crap?" Scizor asked.

"Has anyone noticed my absence?" Minun screamed from the Noctowl's claws.

"Can you believe it's not butter?" Zigzagoon asked, pointing to a tub of margarine.

"It tastes different," Typhlosion responded, "and that's why."

Plusle sang along to the Milkshake song, until Scizor gave a sharp blow to her and made the MP3 player skip, yes, hard enough to do that, and started up Sugar by System of a Down. Plusle sang along, very loudly."That's more like it," Scizor said quietly, "except for the singing."

"SHUT UP, WOULD YOU?" various nocturnal Pokémon screamed.

About an hour later, at the local McDonald's, and yes, the one with the yellow M and 99 billion people served and usual Wi-Fi service and very rarely an ice cream shop, the team, minus Minun, was inside.

"What are you doing, Azumarill?" Zigzagoon asked.

"I'm PWNing some n00bs on Metroid Prime," she responded. Despite a bandage across her body and a few others in other places, she was still in top-notch condition to rack up kills as none other than Samus.

"And you?" she asked Scizor.

"Oh, I'm, uh, meeting with an Espeon over there."

"On…? PictoChat?"

"Uh… Nintendogs."

This resulted in a laughing fit among the others. Just then, Minun dropped into one of the fry… uh, fryers. Fortunately, it was off.

"I don't know what a 'Nintendog' is, but it's pretty addictive. Plus, I can meet friends."

"Have you noticed the pay for these missions getting a little light?" Plusle asked.

"I think the town's budget's getting bad," Minun responded. "Maybe it's our fault."

"Or, maybe the missions are getting easier," Typhlosion thought.

"So we can all agree that we're causing our own financial demise?" Zigzagoon asked.

"Maybe there are other places that do this," Minun theorized.

The group headed to the town hall later on to check on the missions. "They're all 3,000 or less…" Typhlosion said in a disappointed tone.

"Well," Plusle suggested, "we may be able to split up into 3 teams and tackle 3 missions, and then divide the profits between the two members of each team, depending on our mission."

"Wow, that was long, but I like it!" replied Minun.

"Okay, the Reverse team will be me and Azumarill--" Typhlosion was interrupted.

"That's how you'd like it," Plusle said rather obliviously.

"Anyway, then the Battery team will be Plusle and Minun, and, uh, you other two can call yourselves whatever."

"So, which missions are we all tackling?" Minun asked.

* * *

I don't know why it started out so seriously. Just the moment, I guess. This story's basically going to be humor from now on. Hopefully I can get the next chapter up, regardless of whether you like it or not. Please R&R! 


	2. 3 Jobs and 3 Teams: 1 Profit

The second chapter! The team had just found 3 missions on the bulletin board and split up in groups of two to tackle them.

Things I don't own: Nintendogs, McDonald's, Burger King, and the Pokémon franchise, along with Nintendo and its systems. And even though I do have a bottle or two of Pepto-Bismol, I don't own the rights and stuff.

* * *

The Battery team decided to take on an easy cleaning mission worth 2,000 PokéDollars. The job was to pick up the park outside of the town hall, which really needed it. Who said all missions were violent? The reason for its high price for such a job was that it hadn't been done in 4 months. 

"So, how are you doing with those half-eaten stale donuts?" Plusle asked while stabbing papers. And if you consider that violence, well, I won't ask. Back to Minun, he was sick from trying to eat the donuts and was facedown in the grass. "Well, at least we have all day."

The Other team, as they called themselves, was trying to evict a Cubone who had taken residence in a Kangaskhan's manor. "Come on, we won't hurt you," Scizor tried to say in a calm tone. He wasn't afraid, just not usually friendly. Maybe other than the Nintendogs thing. And, apparently, I have just been told not to speak of it again.

Anyway, Zigzagoon had covered the exits in each room. She squeezed herself under each door to check the room, then seeing that it was clear, locked the door and squeezed out again. Her fur was getting messy and was feeling sick from her body constantly being flattened. "Any luck?"

"I think I got him! Hurry up here!"

"Lock the door! I'll be right there." She thought to herself, "What am I thinking? I'm too tired to go under another! Well, at least I'll get half of 2,400 PokéDollars later."

The Reverse team tackled a search and rescue mission to find a lost Pichu for 3,000. Typhlosion's "trash the place until you find something" method was messing with Azumarill's bribery. "Uh, Typhlosion?"

"Uh… what? Oh. Uh… huh? Oh, hi. Can I get you something-- I mean, what can I do for you?"

"QUIT WRECKING THE FOREST!"

"Oh, sorry. Sorry about that. I'll go over here. Sorry. Uh, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just help on my right."

"Help how? Oh, yeah, search. Got it."

"_My_ right. Not left."

"Oh, sorry. I got it. Sorry. Thanks. Need anything?"

"You're scaring me."

"Sorry. I'll be quiet."

Back with the Battery team, Minun, feeling better after downing a pint of Pepto-Bismol, was covering the fountain. Actually, it was now a swamp. After getting his head stuck in a Croconaw's mouth, he quit that division and went to sweep the sidewalk while Plusle tackled the fountain. Literally. That was the only way to get everything out.

With the Other team, Zigzagoon had finally gotten tired and got stuck midway under a door. "Scizor, this hurts! Pull me out!"

When Scizor bent down to pull out Zigzagoon, the Cubone dashed past him and smashed through the door with his club. "Crap. I forgot about the club!" Zigzagoon exclaimed. Scizor left her almost free. "Hey, you didn't finish the job!"

Scizor chased Cubone down to the living room, where Kangaskhan was. She was sitting down at the coffee table when the Cubone jumped on top of the table, knocking some of the coffee onto the floor. Scizor snuck behind it and was about to unleash a Steel Claw when…

"I had to get myself free! You should have gone and helped me!"

Cubone hit Scizor on the head with his club and ran off. Zigzagoon blocked him and tripped him. Scizor snuck up and knocked him out with a Steel Claw.

"Thanks. Here's 700 to you both."

"But that's only--" Scizor was interrupted.

"Considering the damage done to my house, you're lucky I'm paying you at all!"

"Great," Zigzagoon complained as the two left the house with Cubone. "We only got 1,400 out of the deal. Let's try to get another mission in before--"

"No way," Scizor replied. "I'm tired from chasing this little runt around the house and--"

"_You're_ tired? _I_ had to cram my little body through those doorjambs just to--" And yes, that's how you spell "doorjam".

"But that didn't even work!"

"Well, it's the thought that counts!"

"Let's just get this runt to the holding cells before he kills us from exhaustion."

With the Reverse team, they had just found the Pichu in a pitfall. Now all they had to do was get it out.

"Okay, how about I hold you by the tail," Typhlosion suggested, "and you grab him?"

"At least I won't be grabbing your tail, which is practically your butt, and have to hold up your huge body!" Azumarill replied.

Typhlosion grabbed Azumarill and was holding her into the hole. "Don't stare at my butt, or I'll beat you for being a pervert."

"Uh, okay. It'll…okay."

He was going to say that it would be hard, being right behind her. But he was too nervous. So Typhlosion looked to his left at the mountains. There was a clan of Sentret and Furret. "Pull me right!" Azumarill ordered.

He did, and Azumarill grabbed a hold of the Pichu. "Pull me up!"

He froze.

"Did you hear me? Pull me up! I'm losing my grip!"

He pulled up, and the two Pokémon flew up and landed on the ground. Azumarill saw why Typhlosion had frozen. A huge Blastoise was right behind them. "Put the kid back or your boyfriend gets it," he said.

"She's not my girlfriend, she's just a girl who--" Typhlosion was interrupted.

Azumarill replied, "Why should I? What does he get?"

"Well, a beating, of course," the Blastoise replied, "and the kid gets put back in the hole, except with water in it."

"I bet I could beat you."

"A little girl? All beat up from putting on her makeup?" he noticed her bandages.

"That doesn't even make sense, but this does."

Azumarill drove a solid kick to, well, you know the place where a male can be immobilized. And, of course, Blastoise collapsed instantly.

"I'll give him half an hour. Come on, let's get this kid home."

"Uh, thanks for saving me," Typhlosion said.

"Consider yourself lucky."

Back with the Battery team again, they seemed to be doing a little "extra credit". They had not knowingly left the park and were now cleaning the streets.

"If this is a park," Plusle asked, "where's the grass and trees? And why are there houses?"

"Maybe they haven't put those in yet," Minun replied, "and maybe 'parkfront' property is the next big thing."

It was soon sunset and the team gathered in front of the street they all happened to live on. "We each made 5,000 PokéDollars!" Minun bragged.

Plusle rambled, "Yeah, it was all like, 'Oh, you cleaned the whole town!', then he was like 'We did?', but I think he had this planned all along, and anyway, then the mayor was like, 'I'm doubling your pay-- no, tripling it! Just take 5,000 each!', then his assistant was like, 'But sir, our budget--' because he's a Dunsparce but the mayor's like--" Zigzagoon had gotten her to shut up by sitting on her and holding her face in her tail.

"No, it wasn't like that--" Scizor had knocked Minun out.

"Quick, take their money!" Zigzagoon ordered.

"What," Azumarill stated, "was your job to be a mugger? We're the only group that was paid what was promised."

"But we only got paid 700--"

"Because you probably only did a job worth 700. Now get off those siblings while you physically can."

The two "muggers" leapt off the "victims". Minun was still unconscious. "Minun, wake up!" Plusle ordered. "If he's dead, you're next," she said, pointing to Scizor.

"That's not how you do it. Hey, you, if he dies, you're next." Scizor ran. "See how different that was?"

"But that was the same."

"I'm not the same as you. Besides, he'll wake up in about 10 minutes. I'd rather it be an hour, though."

All the team members lived in individual houses, except for the Battery team. This way, nobody would complain about the layout.

In the middle of the night, Azumarill called Zigzagoon. "What do you want?" Zigzagoon asked. "Is this about earlier?"

"No, this is because you're the closest thing to a friend I've got. We'll ditch town in the morning, and if the others don't get a clue on their own, they can go ahead and scrape change from chairs for a living."

"Do you want me to call--"

"No. I'm giving them a chance to decide, seeing in the small chance they figure it out."

"Okay. So, how early?"

"I'll drag you out if you don't wake up early enough. And I know that the others turn their lights on when they answer the phone. See ya."

Just then, Zigzagoon got another call from Scizor. Fortunately for her, he didn't turn the lights on. "Hello? Why are you calling me?"

"I'm sorry about earlier. By the way, are you sick? You don't sound right."

"No, it's just that… uh… well…"

"What? Should I get the ambulance?"

"No, I'm fine. Just worried. Just leave an hour after we do, and this call's anonymous."

"Okay."

"Find me. I'll turn my phone on. You can find me with yours."

"Besides, you're usually at McDonald's before you do anything else."

"Who knows, I could be at Burger King!"

"Yeah, very funny. See ya."

* * *

So the pay has gotten way too low. Please R&R! It won't increase the bounties, but it would be nice! And I'll put up the other chapters anyway. 


	3. Just Your Normal Outbreak

Last time, Azumarill came up with the idea to ditch town in search of a higher pay. Zigzagoon was warned and decided to be kind enough to notify Scizor. So we begin the third chapter!

What I wish I owned: Wendy's, IHOP, the Motorola RAZR, Pokémon franchise, and Nintendo.

* * *

At the local Wendy's, mainly to throw off the trail but also for the food that wasn't undercooked, Azumarill and Zigzagoon were having breakfast there. They had actually gone to IHOP because they didn't know what was for breakfast at Wendy's and sat at the fast food place. Zigzagoon, as planned, turned her phone on. "You've been pretty hostile to the teammates recently," she commented. 

"Oh, have I?" Azumarill responded with an, of course, hostile tone. Then she snapped out of it. "Just kidding. You know, I have been a tad more aggressive since I last went to that--" The TV nearby, because this Wendy's happened to have a TV, finished her sentence.

"…Pokémon Center which has had an outbreak of the Pokérus. This virus has been known to aggravate the infected as well as improve their battle skills. The center has been closed as a result and the Pokérus is being collected. The next nearest center being miles away, the team has set up a temporary medical tent with double-checked sterile equipment. Again, if you have visited this center recently, get checked for the virus if you experience aggression and improved battle skill. This outbreak seems to not be as contagious as previous ones, so close ones should still, as a precaution…" The TV continued on with the droning, yet hyper, female reporter.

Just then, Zigzagoon jumped on top of Azumarill. "What do you think you're doing?" Azumarill freaked.

"I'm a skilled medical doctor," she responded.

"_Really?_"

"No, I just want to get the virus!"

"Are you crazy?"

"No, I want to just get better in--"

Outside, the two were standing outside the Wendy's in the parking lot. Actually, it wasn't a parking lot, but a just a park.

"How the heck did we get out here?" Azumarill asked.

"Possibly… broken continuity?" Zigzagoon replied.

Back at Typhlosion's house, there was a meeting going on explaining the absence of Scizor, Zigzagoon, and Azumarill. But there wasn't much of a meeting with the two siblings marveling at Typhlosion's setup.

"Do you get Some Random Obscure Channel That You Didn't Even Know About Until You Surfed Too Far In The Digital Channel Guide?" Minun asked.

"Shut up, Mini," the aggravated fire-type replied.

"Uh… 'Mini'?"

"I thought that we should come up with nicknames."

"Not me."

"Hey, I got SROCTYDEKAUYSTFITDCG to come up!" Plusle said excitedly. On the channel was Some Obscure Anime That People Will Laugh At You For Not Knowing About But You Found It On The Obscure Channel You Found And You Actually Like It.

"What is this SOATPWLAYFNKABYFIOTOCYFAYALI show, anyway?"

"I don't know, but I like it!"

Back at the Wendy's where they were having IHOP, the two had managed to get back in.

"So, why did you want my sickness?" Azumarill asked.

"I need to get stronger," the raccoon Pokémon replied. "I feel weak."

"Maybe you're worse off than I am. Maybe you should get checked out before we leave."

"What's wrong, Zigzagoon?" Scizor asked, just stepping in. "And why do you have IHOP in here?"

"Well, I feel weak, compared to Azumarill, who has the Pokérus from a non-sterile Pokémon Center, so I'm trying to get infected," Zigzagoon responded.

"You don't need to do that. I've got a plan for you," Azumarill suggested.

"What?"

"_STOP BEING JEALOUS._"

"Huh? I'm not--"

"Well, you're obviously obsessed with this thing, so stop."

"You shouldn't try to get sick to prove something," Scizor added, "because that just makes you look really retarded."

Back at the "meeting" place, Typhlosion was trying to drag out the siblings to go find the rest of the group. "Come on, we've got to go find the Chaperon team." Typhlosion was in charge of team names. His, in this case, was the Babysitter team.

"No, we're watching the news report," Minun replied.

The TV reporter droned, "…Center has been infected with the Pokérus. Signs include aggression and improved battle skills. And today is a very slow news day. Anyway, to check for the virus…"

"That's why," Typhlosion thought out loud. He told the siblings, "Come on, I've got an idea of where they are."

"Wow, how'd we get here?" Plusle asked, standing outside Wendy's.

"I've just realized how commercial our lives are," said Typhlosion, pulling out his RAZR phone. "Okay, she's in there."

"Still, how'd--"

They were suddenly in the Wendy's.

"…we get… huh?"

"Okay," Minun freaked, "this is just strange."

"Now we just need to get her attention," Typhlosion thought out loud.

"Where is that fat rabbit, anyway?"

"_DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT!_"

A flying kick sent Minun, well, flying into the wall and through it.

"I see that I'm right," Typhlosion commented.

"I was wondering when you'd show up. We're ditching this town in search of a better salary."

"You could use some celery," the punished foolishly replied.

"Come on, do you _want_ to die?" Azumarill freaked.

Another blow sent Minun through the deep-fryer, this time, it was on.

"But we can't just leave," Typhlosion worried.

"I've gotten a map of the towns that support the open mission format. We're headed to Pearl Bay next."

"But that's _miles_ from here!"

"Quit being such a… uh… Just shut up. I've got a plan. By the time we reach Gyro City, we'll probably be broke, so we'll take some missions there, then we'll head off from there."

"To…"

"I don't know, it's called Chaos Theory. I don't know what's gonna happen after that. I don't even know if we'll all make it to Gyro City."

"You don't know if we'll _all_ make it?"

"Shut up. If it gets to the point, the siblings go first. They didn't want to leave, anyway."

"You mean go as in--"

"Just head back to the town. What? Did you think we'd kill them? No way. I don't need that trouble."

"Okay. That's better. But what about your Pokérus infection?"

"Why do you--"

"I kinda let my mind slip. It was just an idea I had."

"Well, what if I don't have the infection? Maybe I was just ticked off yesterday due to some events?"

"But--"

"You'd know if I had the Pokérus. It'd be on the news."

"Why--"

"Take a guess."

"Are you famous?"

"Uh, no. Think of Minun."

"Oh. I get it now."

"Do you think he's done yet?"

"There's a timer on the thing."

The timer went off.

"Okay, now he's ready."

The fried walked out, covered in batter.

"Can he breathe?" Plusle worried.

"Well, he's walking."

* * *

Don't worry, Minun's fine. A quick trip to the temporary outdoors Pokémon Center will fix that! Even though it won't accelerate his healing, please R&R! The fourth chapter will be up as soon as I can comply! 


	4. Ending the Endless Travel

Chapter the Fourth! Last time, they all decided to leave. And nothing much else happened, except Minun got PWNed by Azumarill again.

It would be so cool if I had the following because I would be so rich and stuff and who cares: Pokémon, Nintendo, KFC and A&W, MTV, Arby's, and McDonald's. Also Beavis and Butt-head and Roadkill Kitty, which is a Hello Kitty that got PWNed by a semi. Don't ask.

* * *

So it was on that day that the team, along with the body-bandaged Minun, the nervous Typhlosion, the worried Plusle, the agitated Azumarill, the not caring Scizor, and the jealous Zigzagoon, set out for Gyro City. Their budget was about 12,000 PokéDollars. That would probably last them two days. 

"Hopefully you all ate before we left, because we're not turning back," Azumarill stated. "There are a couple of small towns ahead where we can restock if we need to."

"Okay, here goes the long and boring journey," Typhlosion said.

As they left, Zigzagoon mentioned something. "What's this Gyro City like, anyway?"

"Just a little city near Pearl Bay," Azumarill replied. "They have the same open mission format that Siren Town does. This means that we could stay long enough to make enough money to continue, hopefully. Then we'll plan the next town on the way."

"Did we get the emergency supplies?" Plusle asked.

"Uh… about that…"

"What?" She looked worried.

"Well, you see…"

"Well?"

"We… uh… didn't… have enough."

"Enough what?"

"I couldn't afford them."

"Well, if you can't afford them, we shouldn't leave!"

"Why not? Worse things have happened."

"Maybe we can take the train," Minun suggested, although somewhat muffled through the bandages.

"What train?" Zigzagoon asked as a green train with red trim pulled up.

"Strange… no tracks…" Azumarill commented.

"Travelers?" a voice from the train asked. "Well, we'll pick you up with no charge!"

"Free train ride? To where?" Typhlosion asked.

"Straight to Gyro City, mister."

"Who are you?"

"Just a simple Ampharos who rides the rails for a job. Come on, I'll show you around."

"Okay," Azumarill replied, "but the first sign of trouble and we're jumping."

"I don't think you'll want to."

The team got on the train, which left immediately. "How does this thing work with no rails?" Minun asked.

"Are you okay, little guy?"

"If you consider being sent through a wall and a deep-fryer okay, then yes."

"Suit yourself." Just then, the train started ascending.

"What the-- this thing's going up!" Zigzagoon freaked.

"Is there a problem?" Typhlosion asked.

"I'd say. I guess he was right about us not jumping," Azumarill replied, "that's one harsh fall," she said looking out the window.

"Don't stand so close to the window!"

"What? What's the worst--"

"Don't--"

"…thing that could--"

Just then, the window cracked.

"Okay, I'll get away," Azumarill stated.

"This is the fun part," the Ampharos said.

Typhlosion felt strange. He looked down. He was standing… on the ceiling!

"Where the heck are we?" he freaked.

"The apex."

"The what?"

"He means the peak of altitude," Azumarill explained, looking outside the window at the planet below. "So that means after our encounter of low gravity--"

"Have fun," the Ampharos suggested, "you've got another minute of this."

"But I don't get this. Why did we have to go up?" Typhlosion asked.

Azumarill, looking at the others enjoying themselves, even Scizor, but not as much Minun, who would probably need to find a restroom, from his looks, and theorized, "To have fun."

After the remaining 32 seconds had passed, everyone not strapped in was shoved far back in the cabin, therefore, everyone but the conductor. "This is the _really_ fun part," he stated.

Scizor flew back and busted down the door between cars and flew all the way back into the business-class section, where he was jealous of those seated, who had proper restraints. Then, suddenly, he flew faster forward than he was backwards and hit the front of the cabin like, well, of course, a bug to a windshield. With much less mess. The others would have laughed, but were too in pain from similar injuries.

The team was dumped out of the train. "Sorry I can't take you straight there, I'm not allowed in the city anymore," the conductor explained.

"Wow," Azumarill said sarcastically, face down in the dirt road, "I can't imagine why."

"Where are we?" Typhlosion asked, in the same position as Azumarill.

"Terai Village," the conductor responded.

"Wow, we're pretty close."

"See ya around!" The train left, headed to somewhere else, probably not too far.

"I guess we walk from here," Zigzagoon suggested, lying flat on the road.

"Shut up, Roadkill Kitty," Scizor replied.

"Roadkill Kitty? I'm not even a cat!"

"Hey, what's that over there?"

"Quit trying to draw away from the-- Huh? What the--"

Scizor noticed a strange Pokémon a few feet away from the team. It looked like a blue squirrel with three darker blue spikes down a stripe of the same color on its tail and two spikes on its head, which were its ears. Its face and body resembled that of the siblings, sans the signs on the cheeks, which were orange.

"That thing kinda looks like me and my brother," Plusle stated.

Zigzagoon painfully got up and tried to run over to it, but it ran off. "Get back here! I just want to talk," she yelled after it. Not looking at where she was going, she ran into a hydrant. "Ow."

"It needs a name. How about Scra--"

"Don't use any movie references," Typhlosion suggested, "because that's cheesy." Then he looked hungry, possibly because of the last word he said.

"…p. Let's call him Scrap, because he looks like a leftover from Generation 3."

Pokémon are divided into Generations for every triple set of games, except FireRed and LeafGreen, which are just revisions of Red and Green (the Japanese Blue). But many Pokémon fans know that.

Scrap wandered over to Zigzagoon, still unconscious from the impact, and looked at her strangely. Then he sparked her with a Thunderbolt, effectively waking her up. "What are you doing?" she asked. "That hurt a lot. Get back here!"

Zigzagoon chased after Scrap, which must have annoyed him, because he unleashed a Thunder attack at her, knocking her out again. "Make up your mind already," she said, lying on her back.

"I don't think that's the last of him that we'll see," Azumarill commented.

"Do you have cheese?" Typhlosion asked.

"No, but I think that place does," Zigzagoon replied, pointing to a KFC and A&W hybrid.

"Are you gonna get the cheese, uh, turds? Uh, huh, huh," Minun replied in a very idiotic manner. This is what happens when you watch a lot of MTV and its related networks.

"Heh, heh, you said 'turds'," Scizor responded in a similar attitude.

"Shut up, you buttwipes," Azumarill ordered in an accurate manner. "Now, we've got to find a restaurant. Any ideas?"

"How about--" Plusle was interrupted, trying to say Arby's.

"McDonald's. I've got some bounty hunter n00bs to PWN."

* * *

Don't look at me! I didn't make up the PikaSquirrel! Go look up Pachirisu on Wikipedia, that's its Japanese name. I hope the American name doesn't totally suck, like PikaSquirrel. And don't criticize that PikaSquirrel is longer than 10 letters. It's in the Diamond and Pearl games. And if you review, nothing much will happen. So... I don't know.

The end! For now...

Are you still here?

Hello?

Okay, I'll shut up.

Yay.

I also like Buoysel and Pochama. Look those up.

Game over.

Not yet, though.

Leave already!


	5. Never Cross A Living Bridge

Last time, the team had encountered a strange Pika-Squirrel that they named Scrap, as it appeared like a scrap from Generation 3. They were already on their trip and decided to stop at a nearby fast food restaurant.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon (for some reason I can't get the accented E) or Nintendo. Not even A Generic Cat And Mouse Cartoon With Excessive Violence Yet No Blood And Excessive Alcoholism.

* * *

After Azumarill PWNed some virtual n00bs and a few real ones while the others were poorly fed, the group took a nearby bus going to Gyro City. 

"I hope no Ampharos pilots this thing," Typhlosion thought out loud.

"Nope, just a humble Flaafy," the driver replied.

It was just past the village limits, about 7 minutes into the trip, when something happened, very adversely, of course.

"Hey, it's--" Minun was interrupted. He was wearing less bandages than before.

"Oh, crap," the Flaafy exclaimed.

"No, it's Scrap, not that other word. Why are we leaving the road?"

Scrap ducked and ran from the runaway bus, which rolled over on its side.

"Who's Scrap?" the driver asked, still in his seat due to a restraint.

"Us, right now," Zigzagoon commented, trapped under Typhlosion due to the team's lack of restraints.

The real Scrap looked at the damage with wonder, then a little Natu caught his eye. He chased after it, only to be flown backwards by a Psybeam.

The team, leaving the wreck behind, continued on the road for a few miles until reaching a river. "We could walk across," Scizor suggested. "It's only a foot deep and doesn't look too fast."

"I don't think so," Azumarill replied.

"Since when do you know so much-- oh, yeah, water type."

Azumarill picked up a rock from the river bank and put it in the water. The water splashed around harshly and suddenly stopped. She picked it up, seeing that the rock had been practically eroded in half in just 10 seconds. "Typhlosion, Scizor, help me push this into the river," she ordered, pointing to a dead tree about 9 feet tall. The others obliged and pushed it in, vertically, and reaching the edge of the bank, it suddenly dropped, disappearing completely. "When reaching a river, always prove your point and trust no one else," she said wisely. "That means you're wrong, Scizor. I had to prove my point."

"Still," Plusle said, leaning into the river, "it doesn't _look_ like it--" She slipped and fell in.

"Crap, I wished I didn't have to do this," Azumarill responded, jumping in. She flew forward in the water at possibly 100 miles an hour. She could just barely hear Plusle, even with her acute hearing. She dove under, and surprisingly, the current wasn't as strong, but that meant she had to swim harder, so she surfaced again, swimming with the current. When she reached Plusle, she pulled her under, and somehow made an air bubble and shoved Plusle in it. Then she pulled her, swimming perpendicular to the current and managed to reach a river bank.

"What took you so long?" Typhlosion asked.

"What?!? How fast did you guys run?"

"This river seems to go in a circle," Zigzagoon explained. "I think I saw you fly by about 3 times before you came back."

"Okay," Plusle said, still short of breath, "I won't go testing the rivers again."

"I guess that means thanks," Azumarill said.

"But if the river goes in a circle," Minun wondered, "how come we didn't have to cross it before?"

"I think it goes underground for part of it," Typhlosion theorized.

"I do remember it getting dark a few times," Azumarill explained.

"Well, how are we getting across, then?" Scizor asked.

"Uh… maybe go around?"

"That doesn't make any--"

"The river goes underground at the edges. If we could find where it goes under, we could cross there."

"Or," Minun theorized, "we could stop time, then walk across!"

There was about a minute of silence at Minun's stupidity. "I'd rather be across in an hour than have to wait a thousand years for some time lord to show up."

So the team set out, following the river. Then they spotted someone familiar. "Oh, great, it's Scrap," Azumarill said.

"He wrecked the bus! Now we're stranded," Plusle said.

"Get back here you--" Zigzagoon ran after Scrap, but was stopped when a series of light arrows shot down around her. She looked around, but didn't see Scrap, and she wasn't impaled, so she ran like heck. After getting back to the team, she said, "I can safely assume we won't go that way. Someone tried to kill me back there."

"Who?" Plusle asked.

"If I knew, I would have said. There were a bunch of arrows made of energy falling all around me. I'm guessing that it was a warning shot."

"So, how are we getting across?"

"I saw a river island right before I was shot at."

"So," Azumarill asked, "are we jumping to it?"

"It looked about as tall as Typhlosion."

"What did?"

"Oh, sorry. The gap between shore and island is about as long as Typhlosion is tall."

"No way," Typhlosion stated, knowing what they were thinking of, "I am _not_ going to be a bridge!"

"Oh, come on!" Azumarill said. "Are you scared?"

"No, how do _I_ get across, then?"

"Maybe Scizor could go."

"Yeah, he's not as big a target as I am, plus he's heavier due to his armor, so we could pull him up and not worry about him being swept away."

"Great," Scizor said. "First, you called us both fat, and then--"

"No, I said that you're skinnier, as in, your body isn't as big as mine--"

"That's generally the same thing, then you called me heavy--"

"I said 'due to your armor', not 'because you're a lardo'--"

"So? It's still--"

The fight was cut short due to Azumarill's referee skills. Those skills included a split kick and yelling. "If you don't stop, I'll make you both the bridge!"

It was decided that Scizor became the bridge, and served well. The gap afterwards was jumpable. When they arrived, they saw an SUV driving along the dirt road. "Hey, you! Stop!" Typhlosion shouted.

The SUV stopped, and the window rolled down. "Need a lift?" the Mareep driver asked.

"Yeah, to Gyro City," Azumarill said.

The team got in to the SUV and drove off. Scrap managed to run fast enough to jump on top of the trunk and ride. About an hour into the trip, the engine quit, right near a service station. "Wow, that was lucky," Zigzagoon said, sarcasm unknown.

"Hey, look what's on the TV," Typhlosion said.

"TV?" Plusle asked. "We haven't seen that in hours!"

"I can't believe how violent and suggestive this is," Zigzagoon said. "I mean, that cat has gotten drunk three times already in the same episode."

"I guess it's suitable for kids because of its lack of blood and swearing and sexual content," Scizor theorized.

"What's a cat?" Minun asked. "Is it like a Skitty or Meowth?"

Some leeway had to be given, as actual cats were not found in the reality where they all lived.

"What's a mouse?" Plusle asked. "Is it like a Pikachu or Rattata?"

Same went for that.

"Yes to both," Azumarill explained. "Just watch and not learn."

The Mareep driver strolled over and explained the engine trouble. "Turns out we just had no power left due to a busted battery and charger. They've almost replaced both. It'll just be a few more minutes. Hey, is that A Generic Cat And Mouse Cartoon With Excessive Violence Yet No Blood And Excessive Alcoholism on TV?"

* * *

Yes it is.

...I was answering the question!!!

Reviewing doesn't do much for them, but all the cool kids are doing it! ...to other cool kids!


End file.
